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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?